I Weep For Her

October 8, 2006

Just too much pain to bearStub it, stub it out

Starve it till it bleeds to death

These passions are my demons…

Last night I cried in my lover’s arms

Each cell in my body had waited

For that one phone call

None except my heart knew of –

The call from – Her

But it did not come.

So I cried and cried in my woman’s arms –

Not knowing my angst, she asked

Why are you crying so much?

Has someone said something to you?

I shook my head –

How can I tell her?

How hard it is to bear

This silence?

How can I tell her?

I did not cry because

Someone said something

But, because

Someone I wanted to hear from

Did not say anything?

I cried because she was so silent.

Does it take so long to process pain?

So much denial!

Whom could I hold and cry uncontrollably with?

The safety of unquestioned tearsAre not always present.

My cells have finally dried out.

Just too much pain to bear

I tried to stub it, stub it out completely

I fasted for days on end –

Food, they say, excite the mind

These passions left me only for those days

They are my demons…here to stay.

Silence frightens me more than words

They hide emotions I cannot address

Therefore I weep nestled at my lady’s breasts

She does not question my tears

Just gives me the space to cry – for Her.